“I’m a Muslim,” said Samad, pushing a plate of pork away. “And my Rita Hayworth leaves me only with my soul.”

“Why don’t you eat it?” said Archie, guzzling his two chops down like a madman. “Strange business, if you ask me.”

“I don’t eat it for the same reason you as an Englishman will never truly satisfy a woman.”

“Why’s that?” said Archie, pausing from his feast.

“It’s in our cultures, my friend.”

Samad is a testy fellow.